New York - The first love

Memories of New York - The first love

The first love

New York City is a complex, confusing and crazy city and I have no doubt that it will be a challenge to limit my thoughts to a 1,000 words strong article.

I promised you guys regular stories and memories of different places in the world on this website. Therefore, I will remember the city from the early days, with more stories to come in the not-so-distant future. And today I will put the focus on the one thing, which many people come to New York City and end up looking for a lifetime: Love.

Does anybody remember the days when we were not pushing strollers to schools and daycare centers in the city and instead considered ourselves as the hot young urban professionals? In those days, many of us were aiming to look our best while heading from dates to dates to live our life according to the “Sex and the City” series.

Heads up, was our life ever like carries, Samantha's, Miranda's and Charlottes?  New York City came across as a place which required from most of New Yorkers sacrifices, many sacrifices. But even back then, when I was an unpaid intern at an American Bank in my early days, I was incredible proud to be a New Yorker.

What would be unthinkable nowadays was considered as reality some twenty years ago; old school managers believed that interns were there to be taken advantage of and students like me needed the company names and experience on our resumes. This was obviously before the millennials arrived, who tend to feel entitled to everything nowadays.

While there was almost no security for guys like me in those days, we still found our own ways to have fun in the city. I knew nightclubs who would let us pretty young faces in for free at the beginning of the night and offer 1-dollar drinks before midnight, which is also almost unthinkable in 2024 when most drinks cost over USD 25 in Manhattan Nightclubs.

I survived on rice and ketchup during those days. Furthermore, I walked to the bank in the morning to save money. But many years later, after they had already closed down, I was able to say that I went to the hot spots of the city, including the Roxy, the Twilo, the Soundfactory and the Tunnel and how much fun did we have there.

Times changed after the financial crisis and after most of those fun places had vanished. Many of the young urban professional people had found their jobs cut and careers destroyed. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I ended up in a consulting company which paid me a decent salary but also made me work ridiculously long hours.

 At one stage, I questioned my career choices, but I never questioned New York. And while most of my friends ended up falling in love and moving in with their partners, I didn't mind staying single because I had found a different love and how much did I love that one. I was in love with New York City and enjoyed dating the city to the fullest until some of us fell out of love with it.

I think the main problem in New York City occurs when New Yorkers are becoming victims of their own ambitions and want everything incl. careers, love and a full life and at one stage that life became so intense that it hurt. And with the successes and opportunities came the complications and the struggles.

It was a little bit a blessing and a curse when we did well in our careers and were able to make life-changing decisions. I didn't hesitate and took my life into my own hands once again when I decided to start a family and made the transition from Disco Dirk to Daddy Dirk.

When I look back at those days, then it seemed that we had it all, we had cute babies and high-power careers and still managed to go to parties and travel the world. But while we were running through the city after work and trying to pick up our kids on time, many of us didn't notice that while our families were growing, our apartments weren't.

People praised me for making it work all by myself, but reality was much different. Paying the bills on time became a real challenge, when summer camps charged USD 6,000 per season and kids had to be moved to private schools since the public school in our neighborhood wasn't a safe place for kids anymore.

I had to decline higher paid job offers, since those banks were expecting their employees to work until 2am and not really caring about their kids at home. I could have used those pay rises but chose my kids over money since it was more important for me to be there for them.

Furthermore, I realized that our days in New York City were coming to an end when my children started to be bothered about homeless drug users on our doorsteps, next to the schools and in subway stations and the city becoming dirtier than ever before. We left at a time when things probably couldn't get any wilder and crazier.

Do I miss New York City? Hell yes. They say that most of us never get over our first loves, and for me, that was undeniable New York City. I am not convinced that I have, really and completely understood, how much I miss the city. I realized that when a friend sent me a picture from downtown the other day, and I spotted “Just like that” on German TV.  

It really hurt, and I hadn’t been prepared for that. One day, we will return to New York City. People come and go. But that love for New York City will never go away.